19. You can’t sleep at nights, which would be OK if you had more insomniacs for friends.

20. Your depressed self probably wouldn’t be so depressed if your manic self didn’t make so many commitments for it to keep.

21. If you could cycle as quickly as your moods, you’d be the next Lance Armstrong.

22. You meet the same person at two different parties and have to convince them you’re not your pain-in-the-ass twin brother.

23. Friends say you’re the life and soul of the party, but you avoid parties like the plague.

24. You’ve cried on the pizza delivery guy’s shoulder.

25. You’ve been told the warranty on your car does not cover existential crisis.

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