11. Your cat would describe you as the aloof and needy one.

12. Your psychiatrist spends so much time balancing your moods she now has a side job as a professional juggler.

13. You remember when Prozac was cool.

14. When you’re down you watch “America’s Most Wanted” and cry out: “Why does nobody want me?”

15. Your depressive spells make you forgetful, which is a shame because if you thought about your manic stages it might cheer you up.

16. You wonder how someone who feels so empty can put on so much weight.

17. When you’re manic, nothing makes you angrier than someone suggesting you’re irritable.

18. Manic episodes give you a heightened sex drive, which makes it unfortunate you can’t maintain any relationships.

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